TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY

A very powerful and speculative ending from ‘Gone With The Wind’ by Margaret Mitchell. To me it meant another chance, to learn, to grow, to make mistakes, to learn from them and to grow some more. One place where we do this on a regular basis is a forum called Toastmasters.

Have you ever seen a toddler learn how to walk? Spreading both the arms across, with one wobbly step after another, a child falls down, gets up wobbles a little more, falls again, gets up… and the process is repeated till the toddler is finally walking and eventually running.

Resonance 2014 was one such experience. To the trained eye, we probably made a lot of mistakes, but it made me very proud of those people who took on responsibilities for the first time and performed so well. In the true toddler style, the minute I stepped up on stage, I tripped and fell and got up again. All good things begin with a mistake.

My mind reeled back to August 2014 International Convention at Kuala Lampur, when I heard Chris Woo. This man, sweet, unassuming was a finalist at the World Champion of Public Speaking. He came to the stage and started speaking on how he didn’t have a speech, but he was there because he wanted to live up to the expectations of people who wanted him to be there. Chris inspired me, not because he had an exceptional speech, but because he taught me a very important lesson… that it’s okay to fail. It’s okay to be imperfect, it’s okay even if you don’t do well today, because tomorrow…

You don’t have to be a superhero, throughout our lives we keep hoping for superheroes to come and save us, or help us out of our jeopardizing situations. I personally grew up on stories where the girl falls, and a handsome hunk is there to catch her before she touches the ground. Most of our movies and TV soaps are based on the same theme. In real life, nobody turns up. When you fall, you have to get back up, dust yourself and start walking again. Falling down and making mistakes are a part of life, are a part of walking, are a part of growing up. Hrithik Roshan didn’t turn up to catch me, and don’t even get me started on Abhishek Bachchan. Not even a side-hero!

Like they say in Kannada, “Every dosa has holes, it’s how well you cover them up that matters.” So make mistakes today, learn from them, and start afresh tomorrow, because tomorrow is another day!

HOW TO LOSE A CONTEST IN 7 MINUTES

( Published in the Reverberations Souvenir 2010 )

How many times have you been a spectator at a contest and thought, ‘hey, I could have done that’ or ‘I could’ve won’. Most people fall in two categories, winners and losers, mostly and. Jokes apart, here are the sure shot tips of losing any contest. In my 4 year long stint with toastmasters I have made a sort of a record by losing contests. No, I don’t think I qualify for the Guinness Book of World Records yet, but I have lost more contests than most people, and here’s what I know.

When Chendil shoved me into my first toastmasters’ contest, he asked me “What have you got to lose?” I didn’t know the answer then, but now I am wiser. The contest to begin with, but if you wait until you definitely win, you will never enter. The best way of getting better is to be bad, besides you get a lot of sympathy, popularity, and experience. You also get to be Arnold Schwarzenegger, and can do your best “I’ll be back.”

Here come 5 golden rules, a list of things you can do to ensure you lose the Contest, the trophy and a lot of body weight, by crying mostly:

RULE 1: The Sieve Principle:

What the audience hears is not what you meant. What gets sieved through is completely different. The message you want to convey gets lost because of information overload, too many parameters and an absolute lack of transitions. This is a must. No one must know what you intend to say. Never have a clear message and resist the urge of repeating your message.

RULE 2: The Jargon Principle:

Jargon will make you feel included, and your listener feel excluded. It’s like a private joke with yourself and the audience has no clue. It also proves you are the anointed brethren, an excellent opportunity to show off, and confuse the audience.

RULE 3: Avoid Recording:

Do not let anyone record your speech, and do not attempt to record it on your own. Even if your new mobile phone comes with a 12mp camera and a brilliant recording feature. Are you kidding me, by recording, you are giving people an opportunity to review your speech and help you improve it. Also, you get to see how you did, your key strengths, and your weaknesses and points of improvement. Prime rule of losing a contest, recording is a strict NO!

RULE 4: Hijack:

Never use your own stories or experiences to make a speech. Plagiarise; hijack someone else’s story/ experience or material. Something you read recently on the internet, a common joke, they work wonders in getting you disqualified. Even if no one protests, rest assured some of the judges will have heard it before and you will lose marks for originality.

RULE 5: Humour Leads to Tumour:

...especially when you want to lose a contest. It’s okay to have a bad sense of rumour. You see, humour gets your audience hooked, so avoid being punny. Even if you are naturally funny, avoid it like plague, and yes never smile or laugh.

One person wins the World Championship of Public Speaking every year, the rest fifteen thousand contestants lose, so you’re in good company. Learn how to lose a speech contest in 7 minutes by following these 5 golden rules. See you at the next contest season, I’LL BE BACK !

No, It's Impossible !

“No, it can’t be done, that’s just impossible, man can’t fly”, said people to the two Wright brothers’, and the Wright brothers’ proved people wrong. Each time I board a flight, I remember the above statement.

30^th November 2006, as I walked into the gates of NDIIT, not in my wildest dreams had I imagined that a few months later I would be a Distinguished Toastmaster. DTM - a dream, a vision, a reality.

The enrolment was pretty easy, and I was a member. As I was given my manuals, I was told that the Annual district Conference, Ovation 2007, was going to be held in May, in Delhi. This would showcase some of the best educational sessions and contests, and one member of our club would be competing. Now, being the hyperactive ball of energy that I am, my first question was, “Can I compete”? “No”, said the then President, “think about it next year, or next to next year”. ‘No, it’s impossible’, the words ran in my head...

15 days later I delivered my icebreaker, and who better to evaluate it that the then Division C Governor, Deepak Menon. After hearing the best evaluation of my life, I heard from Deepak about Ovation 2007 again, and about the workshops, and the International Speech Contest. ‘Contest, no, it’s impossible, you can’t compete, Ritu, not this year anyway’, the words played in my mind and I lifted my hand to ask a question, “Deepak, can I compete?”

“Sure, if you can complete 6 speeches before the club contest, you just need to go to several clubs to deliver them, and if you can do that, sure you can compete”, Deepak in his immense wisdom had spoken. My mentor had been chosen! The wind beneath your wings- a mentor has to be someone who believes you can fly. Under his able guidance, this was followed a rollercoaster ride- going to various clubs, giving speeches, keeping in mind that the objective of each speech had to be met. In an attempt to complete 6 speeches, I realized that I had taken slots in many more clubs, and hence ended up doing the first 10 speeches in a period of two months. As many of you will know, some clubs give speaking slots only on alternate weeks, or once every 3 weeks, that too if you take up other roles as well. So in short, to do those 10 speeches, I had attended about 60 meetings (more than one would do in a year, if a person was to visit only one club), taken up every role in the book and become a Competent Communicator in a period of two months.

What had I gained? It wasn’t just the title of a CC. What I had actually gained was learning beyond compare. I had grown 3 dimensionally, not only as a speaker, and as a leader, but also as a person. There had been a complete transformation in my training style, and it was all thanks to Toastmasters. I realized that I had found a place where I could afford to fail, and still not be judged for it. Toastmasters were people who wanted to help me grow, irrespective of the state I came from, the watch I wore, or the shortcomings I had. Naturally, I wanted to grow more, so I continued to visit several clubs a week, sometimes even several clubs on the same day. I would, at times end up driving around NCR for 9 hours to get 6 hours of 3 Toastmasters meetings on the same day. For those of you, who are still on the Competent Communication manual, let me tell you a little secret, ‘The fun begins after the 10^th speech’. Taking a leadership role at the Club was the next step, and since then, there has been no looking back. 9 months later, I was a Distinguished Toastmaster.

3 lessons that I learnt in this journey:

1. Capability, perseverance, and passion, will help you realize your dreams.

2. You need a good mentor, who not only believes in you, is a good sounding board, but also is someone who has the knowledge and capability to help you grow.

3. Believe in your dreams and don’t let anybody else tell you otherwise.

I do agree that after becoming a District, things have changed a little. You need to serve as an Area Governor, Division Governor or one of the top 7 District officers for a year, to complete your Advanced Leader Silver, a requirement for your DTM, but then, it’s a learning experience, and that is why we are at Toastmasters.

I don’t know if the Wright brothers’ had heard the famous lines,

“Leheron se dar kar nadiya paar nahi hoti Koshish karne waalon ki, kabhie haar nahin hoti”

What I do know is that DTM is achievable, and it’s fairly easy to become a DTM. The next time someone tells you “thats impossible”, remember - Impossible is nothing, nothing is impossible.

Would You Do It Again?

So Mike Tyson beat the hell out of you, and you hear “Ding Ding Ding”. You go back to your corner in the boxing ring, knowing that you have to face the same guy again, in the next round. You are probably thinking “This guy will make a pulp out of me”.

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever lost a contest? Have you ever given up on yourself? I have.

November 2007, Mangalore, I had lost the first District Contest of my life. It was so easy to put the blame on someone else: the Judges were unfair, the weather was just too humid, the stage didn’t like me, the food was too spicy, the other contestants were cuter looking. Oh I could blame just about anything, but the reality was, I was just not that good.

So I decided, I am not going to participate again, ever.

That phase lasted for about 3 hours, till I stepped out for dinner with a friend and fellow contestant who had lost as well. Over dinner we spoke about our strategies, our strengths, our weaknesses, and the disappointment and despair at not winning. Tears came and tears went and soon we found ourselves laughing at what we had done, and what the other contestants had done. We spoke of the good times we had while preparing, the fun and the learning. We talked about the experience, and that had been grand, and then my friend asked me a seemingly innocent question: “Would you do it again?”

It was then that I realized, we all fail, at different stages in our lives, but we still go on. Like a child who learns how to walk for the first time, falls, gets up tries to walk, falls again, stands up again, tries to walk again, and keeps falling till he finally learns how to walk without falling.

For the sake of the win, for the sake of the experience, for the sake of the fun in the preparation, and probably for the sake of proving to myself that I could, I did do it again. Whether I won or lost is immaterial, because I did win friends, and the self-confidence and I did win myself the right to pen this story down.

Over the last few years, I have realized, that sometimes it’s okay to tell people “I am sad because I lost” or “It hurts”, it’s okay to let people see your tears, and it’s okay to have a long face. In my opinion, it shows you are strong enough to openly talk about your feelings. Whatever you do, do not quit, here are a few lines from my favourite poem:

Often the struggler has given up,

When he might have captured the victor’s cup,

And he learnt too late when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

So, rise and shine, and hone your skill, strategise for strength alone may fail. Go for it again, another contest season is just round the corner, can you hear the “Ding Ding Ding?”