No, It's Impossible !

“No, it can’t be done, that’s just impossible, man can’t fly”, said people to the two Wright brothers’, and the Wright brothers’ proved people wrong. Each time I board a flight, I remember the above statement.

30^th November 2006, as I walked into the gates of NDIIT, not in my wildest dreams had I imagined that a few months later I would be a Distinguished Toastmaster. DTM - a dream, a vision, a reality.

The enrolment was pretty easy, and I was a member. As I was given my manuals, I was told that the Annual district Conference, Ovation 2007, was going to be held in May, in Delhi. This would showcase some of the best educational sessions and contests, and one member of our club would be competing. Now, being the hyperactive ball of energy that I am, my first question was, “Can I compete”? “No”, said the then President, “think about it next year, or next to next year”. ‘No, it’s impossible’, the words ran in my head...

15 days later I delivered my icebreaker, and who better to evaluate it that the then Division C Governor, Deepak Menon. After hearing the best evaluation of my life, I heard from Deepak about Ovation 2007 again, and about the workshops, and the International Speech Contest. ‘Contest, no, it’s impossible, you can’t compete, Ritu, not this year anyway’, the words played in my mind and I lifted my hand to ask a question, “Deepak, can I compete?”

“Sure, if you can complete 6 speeches before the club contest, you just need to go to several clubs to deliver them, and if you can do that, sure you can compete”, Deepak in his immense wisdom had spoken. My mentor had been chosen! The wind beneath your wings- a mentor has to be someone who believes you can fly. Under his able guidance, this was followed a rollercoaster ride- going to various clubs, giving speeches, keeping in mind that the objective of each speech had to be met. In an attempt to complete 6 speeches, I realized that I had taken slots in many more clubs, and hence ended up doing the first 10 speeches in a period of two months. As many of you will know, some clubs give speaking slots only on alternate weeks, or once every 3 weeks, that too if you take up other roles as well. So in short, to do those 10 speeches, I had attended about 60 meetings (more than one would do in a year, if a person was to visit only one club), taken up every role in the book and become a Competent Communicator in a period of two months.

What had I gained? It wasn’t just the title of a CC. What I had actually gained was learning beyond compare. I had grown 3 dimensionally, not only as a speaker, and as a leader, but also as a person. There had been a complete transformation in my training style, and it was all thanks to Toastmasters. I realized that I had found a place where I could afford to fail, and still not be judged for it. Toastmasters were people who wanted to help me grow, irrespective of the state I came from, the watch I wore, or the shortcomings I had. Naturally, I wanted to grow more, so I continued to visit several clubs a week, sometimes even several clubs on the same day. I would, at times end up driving around NCR for 9 hours to get 6 hours of 3 Toastmasters meetings on the same day. For those of you, who are still on the Competent Communication manual, let me tell you a little secret, ‘The fun begins after the 10^th speech’. Taking a leadership role at the Club was the next step, and since then, there has been no looking back. 9 months later, I was a Distinguished Toastmaster.

3 lessons that I learnt in this journey:

1. Capability, perseverance, and passion, will help you realize your dreams.

2. You need a good mentor, who not only believes in you, is a good sounding board, but also is someone who has the knowledge and capability to help you grow.

3. Believe in your dreams and don’t let anybody else tell you otherwise.

I do agree that after becoming a District, things have changed a little. You need to serve as an Area Governor, Division Governor or one of the top 7 District officers for a year, to complete your Advanced Leader Silver, a requirement for your DTM, but then, it’s a learning experience, and that is why we are at Toastmasters.

I don’t know if the Wright brothers’ had heard the famous lines,

“Leheron se dar kar nadiya paar nahi hoti Koshish karne waalon ki, kabhie haar nahin hoti”

What I do know is that DTM is achievable, and it’s fairly easy to become a DTM. The next time someone tells you “thats impossible”, remember - Impossible is nothing, nothing is impossible.

Would You Do It Again?

So Mike Tyson beat the hell out of you, and you hear “Ding Ding Ding”. You go back to your corner in the boxing ring, knowing that you have to face the same guy again, in the next round. You are probably thinking “This guy will make a pulp out of me”.

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever lost a contest? Have you ever given up on yourself? I have.

November 2007, Mangalore, I had lost the first District Contest of my life. It was so easy to put the blame on someone else: the Judges were unfair, the weather was just too humid, the stage didn’t like me, the food was too spicy, the other contestants were cuter looking. Oh I could blame just about anything, but the reality was, I was just not that good.

So I decided, I am not going to participate again, ever.

That phase lasted for about 3 hours, till I stepped out for dinner with a friend and fellow contestant who had lost as well. Over dinner we spoke about our strategies, our strengths, our weaknesses, and the disappointment and despair at not winning. Tears came and tears went and soon we found ourselves laughing at what we had done, and what the other contestants had done. We spoke of the good times we had while preparing, the fun and the learning. We talked about the experience, and that had been grand, and then my friend asked me a seemingly innocent question: “Would you do it again?”

It was then that I realized, we all fail, at different stages in our lives, but we still go on. Like a child who learns how to walk for the first time, falls, gets up tries to walk, falls again, stands up again, tries to walk again, and keeps falling till he finally learns how to walk without falling.

For the sake of the win, for the sake of the experience, for the sake of the fun in the preparation, and probably for the sake of proving to myself that I could, I did do it again. Whether I won or lost is immaterial, because I did win friends, and the self-confidence and I did win myself the right to pen this story down.

Over the last few years, I have realized, that sometimes it’s okay to tell people “I am sad because I lost” or “It hurts”, it’s okay to let people see your tears, and it’s okay to have a long face. In my opinion, it shows you are strong enough to openly talk about your feelings. Whatever you do, do not quit, here are a few lines from my favourite poem:

Often the struggler has given up,

When he might have captured the victor’s cup,

And he learnt too late when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

So, rise and shine, and hone your skill, strategise for strength alone may fail. Go for it again, another contest season is just round the corner, can you hear the “Ding Ding Ding?”